Adebimpe Akintunde, the Nollywood actress and filmmaker, who is also known as Wasila Coded, has urged women to build their lives rather than investing emotions in men.
In an interview with Sunday Scoop, the actress said, “There is a popular adage that says, ‘If you want a woman to treat you like a king, you have to treat her like a queen’. Also, if a woman wants to be treated like a queen, she needs to treat her partner like a king too. My advice to women, either married or unmarried, is that instead of investing your emotions in the opposite sex, you should build up your life. So that wherever you find yourself in the future, picking up will not be an issue for you. Women stay in abusive marriages because of the fear of starting over. They ask, ‘How would I take care of the kids’? But if such women had been able to work on themselves and are empowered, they would have the courage to walk away or take a break. I keep telling people that marriage is overrated. If a woman is not married, does that mean she won’t do well in life? These days, one does not have to be married before one can have children. There are a lot of successful women who are not married, but look for ways to have children.”
Sharing her thoughts on the uptick in domestic violence against women, she said, “There are different levels of abuse. If the man is still threatening to slap one but has not done it, there is a way to curb such a man. One can threaten him by telling him he will end up in prison. One can still encourage that kind of man to have self-control. Men should have self-control. However, if the threats continue, the woman should walk way.”
Coded also urged parents not to encourage their daughters to stay in abusive marriages.
The mother-of-one said, “We need our parents to understand that these days are different from what obtained in their time. Those days, when a man misbehaved, the community would gather and talk to him openly. Now, things have changed. If your daughter complains to you more than once about being in an abusive marriage and the abuse does not stop, go and take your daughter from such place.”